ONLY IN NEW YORK!

All the things that only happen in my beloved New York:

• Jam-packed crowded subways that make you want to scream SHUT THE FUCK UP at everyone you see;

• Being called a bitch on the way home from work when I did’t give that lady a dollar;

• Men do NOT give up their seat for pregnant women on the bus;

• TOURISTS. UGH, that is all.;

• Looking totally normal as you recite your standup set aloud walking down the street;

• Buying fruit on the street corner. Every day. Another lemon. Another day.;

• Going to the beach with Russian babushkas;

• Wishing you lived someplace else, but then remembering you hate everywhere else;

• Watching someone defecate on the subway platform;

• Somehow knowing the new guy your friend is dating because you went on one date with him 7 years ago;

• Having my eyebrow place, pharmacy, fave Thai restaurant, and exterminator all in a one block radius;

• 22 year old baristas that do improv (and so do I!);

• Air conditioner droplets on your head as you walk down the street;

• Walking out the door with cash and never knowing where it all went at the end of the day when it’s all gone;

• Sweating in your puffy coat on the subway and desperately trying to rip it off;

• Your workout class is only 45 minutes but somehow takes 3 hours off your life with the shlep there and back;

• Seeing David Duchovny walking in your neighborhood;

• Looking at streeteasy for apartments regularly even if you’re not moving;

• IT’S SHOWTIME!;

• Paying $7 for a muffin;

• Dollar stores where nothing is only a dollar!;

• Sitting in urine by accident;

• Happy hour drinking beers outside as soon as the weather gets even a little bit warm (best feeling!); and

• Finally, always always having access to the best comedy in the world!

Here are a few things that help me destress in New York!

These books literally changed my life. Let’s all live our wildest dreams!

And I always need some gluten free fodmap friendly treats to bring with me everywhere!

P.S. The granola butter is insanely delicious!