In 2019, with instant communication and instant gratification, I’m witnessing the demise of actual standards in dating. We all have our own personal beliefs, values, standards and even maybe a set of rules when it comes to dating. I know mine may differ from yours, but what I want to emphasize is that we should all know our worth. We are beautiful, smart, successful, funny, and, more than anything, worthy, and should not accept the unacceptable.
I’m actually not going to delve too deep here into real toxic and abusive relationships, but instead keep this discussion surface-level. See, even at the surface, we are applauding people for bad behavior. In my view, when I go on a date, I want that man to make sure that I got home okay, especially at 1:30am. That is certainly something worth noting. If this same guy then texts me 24 hours later just to say hi, does this deserve to be praised? And what if he texts me once a week for a few weeks, without ever asking me out again? Does this make him a “good guy”? No, it does not. It just makes him someone that really isn’t that interested.
It is totally okay to not be interested. It is part of dating. People will also be sort of interested, but not really, so they text from time to time without really pursuing the other person. Maybe I don’t mind texting back to these infrequent messages because I’m realistic and aware. The concern I have is when we are putting this behavior on a level that it just doesn’t deserve.
This behavior is not interest. It’s boredom. Someone’s bored, so they send a text. Perhaps their “better option” didn’t come along, so you receive that text. Perhaps this person actually looked up from their work computer, so you get that text. Whatever the case may be, this person is not particularly interested in dating you if you’re barely contacted and have yet to be asked out for another date. This is actually fine. Let’s just make sure we are evaluating it clearly. I am not impressed by this and neither should you.
What if we stopped wasting our time analyzing men that we don’t actually know and are not in relationships with?! What if we spent our time on the things and people that we truly value and that reciprocate this value?! I do not miss the anxiety and tears of my 20s. I spent countless hours on people and things that just didn’t matter. In my 30s, life has been more difficult at times, but it’s also been real, honest, and just all around superb. My time and energy are spent on the truly significant moments.
I just can no longer waste my precious life on men that don’t matter. When the right man comes along, you better believe I will know it. If the foolish man turns his actions around and becomes the right man, you better believe I will know that too. Show true interest. Pursue. Engage. Commit. Until then, I’m the priority. Don’t you want the real deal?! I know I do. I want magic. I want fucking magic.
P.S. I’m a huge fan of wearing jeans on a date. Maybe I’ll never get sick of 7 jeans – here’s one of my fave pairs!
Comments are closed, but trackbacks and pingbacks are open.